CONFESSIONS OF A RUM-ADDLED MIND, Issue #4
By: Duke Radule

In this issue: Canucks, Battle Royale, X2, The Animatrix, May 5th

On the Canucks...so what the hell happened? 3 losses in a row, last night's being the least brutal. What was with that goal where the assist flipped up the puck and the attacker deftly batted it in? I swore I wasn't going to listen to 980 at home, particularly during the 50min commute home during which time I was cut off by at least half a dozen SUV's each sporting those idiotic looking flags on either side of the vehicle. Believe it or not I still counted one on the way to work this morning. Tee time was 7:00am for our team.

On Battle Royale...Corinne, would you really wear that shirt? I just hope the sequel, Battle Royale 2, is as explosive and ridiculous as the trailer looks. They need to bring back that funky hip-hop girl to explain the rules. The kids revolt again! Only in Japanese theaters this summer!

On X2...this left a bad taste in my mouth, although the action was good and the special effects were phenomenal, the sketchy plot leaves much to be desired. They're being pretty selective about what elements of the comic books are driving the movie franchise and the pacing could make for many sequels to come, if they want to fully develop each character. This one focused on Wolverine, Nightcrawler (who I thought was wicked, particularly in the white house) and later Jean Gray. I don't even know who Kelly Hu was supposed to be, Wolverine never had an equal...regenerative abilities are very rare. Mystique was developed further and performed some interesting espionage...Did you happen to notice that both Beast and Jubilee were present? Beast was interviewed on TV in human form briefly and Jubilee was imprisoned with the kids. My thoughts on X3...the last 30 seconds of X2 pretty much outlines the plot. Joel Schumacher, keep your greasy fucking hands off this franchise. MORE COLOSSUS!!! NOW!

On the Animatrix...This is absolutely wicked so far! Instead of wasting everyone's time and money with subpar prequels (like some directors I know, whose name rhymes with blucas) the Wachowski Bros. handed the storytelling task over to 7 of the top anime directors of all time. I must say "Final Flight of the Osiris" is even better than Final Fantasy, not only for the realism in fluid body motion, but for the addition of matrix-style effects. The Second Renaissance beautifully outlines the war between man and machine...although a bit hokey, it demands sympathy for the machine. Detective's Story and Kid's Story (by Shinichiro Watanabe of cowboy bebop fame) outline post apocalypse tales within the matrix, where freed outsiders are pursued as criminal fugitives and hackers. "Program" and the other two I haven't gotten to yet. I am looking forward to Reloaded though...big time.

On May 5th...Cop outs, eh? We'll just have to drive around rounding them up and forcing them to drink Tequila shots until they can't feel feelings anymore...except Angela, she was guilted into a friend's birthday party...which I should probably go to, but Tequila calls. I plan to get drunk and go on a mousehunt...you remember that giant bastard making the moves on my woman?

Cheers,
Duke