Sunday, February 29, 2004

I am not a Neo-Nazi

Nor am I a white supremacist, despite wearing symbols associated with them at the party this passed Saturday. Were you offended by this act? If you were, please read Christian's blog entry stating the Nazi-esque theme of the party and chalk my offensiveness as a willingness to support my friend in his endeavor to get a fresh start now that his divorce is final. To those of you who did not know in advance the theme of this party and were offended: I'm sorry that things weren't explained to you beforehand, and I hope my explanation after the fact has prevented you from assuming that I am a blatant and proud racist.

Everyone else: I had fun, and I hope you did too. Don;t take things so seriously. You know how offensive some of us are, and most of the time, you revel in it. Also, Graeme has a point in the post below, so read it too.

Dr. Strangelove or:
How I Stopped Worrying
and Learned to Love the Bum

In the last few weeks, I have noticed a silly trend. When the boys of the group get together and continually harass each other, their lady-friends seem to feel obligated to leap to the defense of their tormented boyfriends, as if the insults were somehow directed personally and meant to harm. My question is this: Is it because you think that the insults are in fact personal, or rather because your boyfriends whine to you about how much it hurts them? Either which way, people need to realize that we all like each other. We are not in the business of attempting to hurt each other. Sodomy jokes, and jabs are just that: jokes and jabs. Lighten the fuck up. Even those most affected participate and reciprocate in this (minimally) witty reparte. There is no need to get on the defensive. Not to reenforce stereotypes but, the saying is true: "Boys will be boys." Questioning eachother's cock-size, threats of cockpunches, and the questioning of sexual preference are just part of the continual pissing contest that we are constantly partaking of.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Starsky & Hutch

Friday, March 5. 9/10pm showing in Burnaby.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Happy Birthday Owen!

I think you know the song. Let's all hum it together:

hmmmmmhmmm hmmmhmmm hmmm hmmmmmmmmmmhmmm
hmmmhmmm hmmmhmmmm hmmm hmmmmmmm

Monday, February 23, 2004

Doughnuts in Canada

Krispy Kreme in Delta and we're part of the already hooked lot.

Mmmm warm, fresh doughnuts.

D.o.S. Reminder....

Hey!

A big thank you to everyone who dared trundle down to the Dufferin Sat. night for some birthday Karaoke. I'm sorry more people didn't get a chance to sing, and for the fact that I had to leave early to go pass out/puke/pass out. But I trust that most people had fun and weren't too traumatized (I'm extra sorry Bob).

So, now that you're all recovered and stuff:
Feb 24/04 (Owen's B-day)

7pm: Twins Effect -- Vampires, Canto-Pop, Kung-Fu and Jackie Chan. Goofy fun to be sure.

9pm: Happiness of the Katakuris -- Claymation, Zombies, Musical Numbers & Miike. More goofy-sick fun.

RSVP, bring pop moneys and get ready to have fun.

And don't forget the first Annual D.o.S. Oscar Party this Sunday at 5pm!

I'm becoming very upset

"WHO Says the Bible Is Literally True?

A majority of Americans believe the Holy Bible is literally true and not just a book of stories that are meant to be interpreted as symbolic lessons, reports The Washington Times of a recent ABC News poll of 1,011 adults.
61 percent believe the story of the creation of the Earth in seven days as told in the book of Genesis is literally true.
60 percent believe in the story of Noah's ark, the global flood, and God's covenant to never destroy the Earth again.
64 percent believe that Moses really did part the Red Sea so the Jews could escape their Egyptian captors.

"These are surprising and reassuring figures, a positive sign in a postmodern world that seemed bent on erasing faith from the public square in recent years," the Rev. Charles Nalls, a priest with the Catholic-Anglican church, told The Times. "This poll tells me that America is reading the Bible more than we thought. There had been a tendency to decry or discount Bible literacy among the faithful."

However, the levels of literal belief in these three Bible stories differ among various Christian groups:
Mainline Protestants: 75 percent believe in the story of creation, 79 percent in the Red Sea account, and 73 percent in Noah and the Ark.
Evangelical Protestants: 87 percent believe in the creation story, 91 percent in the Red Sea, and 87 percent in Noah.
Roman Catholics: 51 percent think the story of the creation is literally true, while 50 percent believe in the Red Sea story and 44 percent in the flood.

This may be the most interesting finding of all: Among those who said they had "no religion," 25 percent still believe in the creation story, almost a third believe in Moses and the Red Sea, and 29 percent believe in Noah and the Ark.

Here are some other fun facts to know and tell that are culled from two different Harris Polls taken in 2003. Among Christians in the United States:
93 percent believe in miracles.
95 percent believe in heaven.
93 percent in the Virgin Birth of Christ.
96 percent in Christ's Resurrection.
42 percent believe God is a male.
1 percent believe God is female.
38 percent believe God has no gender.
11 percent believe God is both genders."

This is what Mariko's homepage offered me. Polls on how many of the "faithful" populate our brothers and sisters from the south. Christian this is shameful.

Happy Birthday To You!

It's Mariko's 25er today, and I thought I would publicly inform her that I wish her well today and the rest of the year (we'll schedule something for next year's well-wishing).

::Confetti goes here::

Sunday, February 22, 2004

A Word Now From Our Sponsors

Our Friend Christine writes:

greetings and solicitations. i would like to invite you all to an art fete on Monday, Mar. 8 (aka IWD). the venue is a laundromat on Davie called, "The Clothesline". it's located at 1070 Davie and the fete will be from 6-9pm. there will be live music and dead art. i hope this entices people to come. feel free to bring a load of laundry to wash.
thank you for your attention. sincerely, christine gibson.
ps. if you have any questions or requests feel free to give me a call (604) 683-1364. or email me: meta_moment@yahoo.com

Thursday, February 19, 2004

red dwarf fire sale

since I have put myself considerably more into debt by ordering the first four seasons of red dwarf on dvd, and I don't have enough room of my shelves anyway, I've decided to make my red dwarf vhs tapes available to you, my adoring public.

the tapes cost $20 US each, and feature three episodes per "byte," two bytes completing a full season. if anyone is interested, I'll let you have them for $20 a season (two tapes) of your funny money. act now, and I'll give you a one time only price of $50 cdn for all eight tapes comprising the first four seasons.

keep only those you like, but fat chance getting a refund on any you don't. seasons 5 through 8 will be made available periodically (as the dvds are released and I buy them), and will be made available for $20 cdn per season. collect all eight seasons, complete your set today!

willing to negotiate price discounts in exchange for sexual favours. bob or paul must pay a 20% "bob or paul" tax. if bob or paul try to haggle discounts in return for sexual favours, an additional fee of $50 and several cockpunches will be added to the final tab.

thank you, drive through.

Rampant consumerism

It seems vaguely unfair that I don't already own this.

How Good is Your T.A.?

And by T.A. I mean Treat Appreciation.

I ask this because the one and only Dustin Diamond is appearing at Yuk Yuk's Downtown from March 4 - 6. Tickets are $20, but I have one 2 for 1 pass if anyone else would consider ponying up another $10.

Let me know.

P.S. You're all coming to my birthday party Saturday right? 8pm - Den of Sin (call for directions) 10pm - The Dufferin Karaoke lounge (if you skip the pre-drink and head down to the Duff on your own, don't panic if we're not there yet. We're on our way).

audio pseudo friends

ok

Sat. Feb. 28th
start 9 pm end 10 pm (one hour only)
706 Clarke Drive (pretty close to the clubhouse)

Audio Pseudo Friends
is Bob, Tea, Borris and Karen
ok
so the thing is...
this is the same night as The Day of Freedom for Christian Rapp.

The man of honor has given us his blessing and we hope to see all your friendly faces for our first live set ever!

Please respond to this here to get a plan of action happening.
love you all,
Karen

oh and there's no booze at the event so you have to get tanked up somewhere else first

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Bubba Ho-tep on permanent Hiatus?!?!

Oh well, the DVD comes out on MGM discs May 25th.

In the meantime, I plan to catch 21 grams, Mystic River and The Triplets of Belleville to fill in the void...

-Duke
==============================

Hello,

We do not have an opening date for this film. We still may open it at a
later
date or the distributor is deciding on giving the film to another theatre.
We
too do not have much information from the distributor.

Agnes Ng
Assistant Manager
Tinseltown Theatre
Cinemark Inc.

Think He's Heard of Operation Clambake?

Probably one of the scariest sites on the web, I thought it was just the one page, but no. It's been going on for four months.

Propaganda or actual devotee?

To All of You Romantics Out There

Suckers.

Denzel, but No Jude

The remake is difficult to picture. The money went to Denzel's salary from the looks of things.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Dropping a Line on My Peeps.

Hey Kids,

Just hought I share a couple links and an abservation or two.

Jewschool: Look for the article about France banning religious articles in the classroom. I'm not sure I agree on this; I don't mind freedom of religion and this is definately an infringement on freedom of expression (based on religious beliefs).

Tokidoki: Art. I used it for avatars over Halloween, but it's just come back into style. Style, I say.

Observations:

I overheard a girl talking about Average Joe in the hallways here. She was happy that some guy got kicked off because he had some sort of facial hair that was ugly. Perhaps she didn't understand the "subtleties" of this program, but all the guys are supposed to be unattractive, nerdy, flawed, etc.. You are supposed to like them as people from the inside. Shouldn't we be hoping the schemeing jerk gets voted off? Or that the total sullen, no-confidence, weenie got kicked off? Bah.


When MrEff burns a CD over its load level my discman can't read past a certain track without selecting and playing each track individually. So, that's been frustrating.

Monday, February 16, 2004

how would YOU interpret this?

she says:

"Hey.

I'm not happy with the way things are between us. We can barely be civil to
each other. That doesn't feel good.

However, I also don't think we're ready to be friends right now, or to sit
down and talk about anything. But I hope that at some point in the future we
can be there. Let me know if you feel like you get to that point.

That's all I wanted to say."


this is totally out of the blue. anyone want to wager that her boyfriend realised what a nutter is and dropped her like a crying baby? can't imagine why else she'd want to talk to me after all the crap in the past six months. lard knows I have nothing to say to her...

Saturday, February 14, 2004

day of release festivities.

I had an epiphany last night. and it was by far the most genius notion I have ever had. it was a beautiful, religious experience.

I had fully planned to get totally trashed for my parole, and was making arrangements for a catsitter and/or permanent home for dear saku, in case of acute alcohol poisoning. I mentioned that I'd be getting bombed on the weekend.

a chorus of angels singing. it was beautiful.

there's this thing about me an alcohol. we don't get along. I have too much, and I either puke or pass out. or both. neither of which is conducive to me getting more drunk than I ever have been before. and yet, the previous record of drunkeness by yours truly came by way of demon semen, the unholy concoction known as a jägerbomb. jägermeister and red bull. it gets you fucked up AND hyper. and I've never known anyone to get sick from them, myself included. last time, I had eight jägerbombs, three dead nazis (see below), a shitload of other booze, a hit of nitrous and was feeling great. I was drunk for 36 hours and awake the entire time. it was awesome.

the great thing about jägerbombs is the military feel you get, the camaradie and cadence and carnage and other words beginnign with c. but while that's well and good for normal drunken debauchery, this warrants an added twist. I only plan to get divorced three, maybe four times in my life. and as this is my maiden voyage into divorcehood, it must be EXTRA special. and thus, I have developed a game. the details need to be worked out, which is where you all come in. but the general concept is this:

we bomb england, and the rest of western europe. to oblivion. the third reich will rise again. and it will be good.

I need to recruit a squadron of jägerbombers. I can promise you victory. I can promise you a good time.

the more bombers we have, the better. runs will be conducted every fifteen minutes exactly. I'll need a volunteer to keep close eye on the clock (as we'll be too drunk to synchronise watches), and who can yowl a good air raid siren for up to a minute prior to every strafing run.

I need an artist. I'd like to conscript owen. I need a large cartoonish map of western europe, with targets denoted by silly cartoons and stereotypes. there should be at least ten potential targets, ascending both in difficulty to succeed and absurdity. for instance, bombing the hell out of liverpool and thus negating the demonic influence of the beatles on western culture would be a good start. we're nazis, damn it. and we'll need little stickies of some sort to place over the target after they have been destroyed. the map of carnage should be beautiful. I can picture it all in my head, but couldn't draw it to save my life.

I need medals. lots and lots of medals. these can be little cardboard cutouts, I don't care. the idea is, every bomber gets a medal for each successful mission. this is both a way of keeping score, and for looking cool, especially if we got out afterwards. there will be promotions. each succesful mission will result in a promotion to a new and higher rank. the winner of this game is he or she who completes the most missions, and will be thereby rewarded with title of führer. if anyone has a kaiser helmet to donate for the evening, that would be an awesome reward. also, leather aviator caps would really help with the mood. any prop that would add to the ambience, really.

every bomber will be requires to complete six missions for their tour of duty. additional missions will result in added accolades, promotions and possible sexual rewards. particularly dangerous missions, such as dropping double payloads (downing two bombs on one mission) will also be rewarded accordingly. there are several kinks to be worked out in the scoring system.

speaking in a german accent, while not required, would be quite helpful for the mood. and we must all be really mean to rachael, for she is the enemy. okay, not really. but we can still be mean to bob, 'cos well, he's bob.

an additional twist for this game is to punish the survivors (it'll speed the game along as well). every time one of our comrades in arms falls in battle (ie, pukes, passes out, or just quits because they're a giant pussy), the survivors must drink to their memory with a dead nazi (half jäger, half rumplemintz).

I am willing to bear an immense financial burden to get this to go off without a hitch. I will provide two cases of red bull energy drink, two fifths of jägermeister and a fifth of rumplemintz, if I can assemble a squadron of at least eight bombers. I will require assistance for all of the props and extras I've mentioned, as well as further ideas for punsihments/rewards and tweaking of rules. those who do not want to participate in the drinking can still be a part of the game, playing roles other than german luftwaffe.

we will need innocent victims to represent potential targets. props would be helpful here. we need a winston churchill. I volunteer bob, just because he's such a good bitch for all occasions.

do realise, we WILL rewrite history on that fateful night, and the nazis will prove victorious. this could very well be the greatest party/drinking game EVER. I expect nothing less.

(note: no jews were hurt in the writing of this post.)

Love and Hearts

Christian's Party of Release

Saturday February 28, 2004
8:00pm
Clubhouse Fairgrounds

Christian has some great ideas for making sure everyone has a good time (and climb the ranks of absurdity), and I let him post them here.

I'll be emailing a reminder out to everyone.

Good ol' pagan holidays...

Hope everyone's enjoying their Lupercalia festivities, and has procured the necessary sacrificial dog and goats to show their affection to their sweetie. If anyone knows where I can acquire a male wolf whose still-warm heart I may offer as a truly authentic valentine, please let me know.


On a less Roman note, I'm thinking of seeing Fog of War tomorrow, around 12:00 at Tinseltown. Mind-expanding goodness (or so I'm told) by the legendary Errol Morris, and it probably won't aggravate me like The Corporation did. Any interest in making it a group excursion?

Friday, February 13, 2004

put 'em on the glass!

hey folks, sir mixalot is playing a show in bellingham friday, april 23. would anyone be keen on going? I could head up there for the weekend after the show...

I've never seen him live, and not even sure he's doing rap anymore, but he's playing in a hotel lounge, so it's gotta be sweet...

who's with me?

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Moving day!

Well, I have a new apartment in North Burnaby. My roommate and I take possession on the 21st of this month.

So if any of you out there have a pickup/van or just feel you might otherwise be of assistance in my quest to change residences, please drop me a line.

Monday, February 09, 2004

Tomorrow night at the D.o.S.

Yo.

7pm: Stepford Wives [1975]: Joanne and Walter move to Stepford, where everything is perfect and all the wives are subservient. Joanne (Katherine Ross) is an amateur photographer (see, she has interests outside the home) and is more liberal minded so she suspects something is up. Little does she realize that the men of Stepford have been replacing her friends, one by one, with ROBOTS!!

9pm: Valley of the Dolls [1967]: Again, those expecting a Russ Meyer boob fest are going to be disappointed, but that doesn't mean they should miss this epic classic of girl trash. Patty Duke and Sharon Tate are featured in the story of three friends' rise to fame, one as a model, one as a star on Broadway and one as an actress in B-movies; and their subsequent messy falls. Also features one of the best lines in cinema history: "All I know how to do is take my clothes off".

As usual RSVP please (!) and bring money for the pop fund if you have it.

~meeko

BUBBA HO-TEP REMINDER

Just a reminder, Bubba Ho-Tep opens at Tinseltown this Friday, February 13th. Tickets supposedly go on sale today, though I'm waiting to hear back from the box office online, as they don't list movies opening Friday until the day before. Hopefully I don't have to trek out to the theatre after hours...

*EDIT*

I just received this from Tinseltown:

Hello Mike,

Unfortuantley, we are still not scheduled to open this film.

Todd


What the hell?

Application Mania

I am applying to a student sponsorship at this and the 2005 Urban semester at this.
Wooohooo the fun of finding academic letters of reference and writing goal statements.

Sunday, February 08, 2004

day of release plans?

okay guys, we need to brainstorm some ideas for my day of release. my thinking is since a divorce is something you only do a few times in a lifetime, it should be something a bit more unusual than a straight party. plus, the likelihood of me staying conscious increases if we're out on the town.

getting started at a central location would be helpful from a financial standpoint (would anyone care to host the launch pad?), but moving on to a club or something could be fun. are there any good 80's clubs up there? if I get drunk enough I just may be inclined to strut my funky stuff...

Friday, February 06, 2004

oh, i almost forgot...

4) Sunday Feb 29/04: First Annual D.o.S. Oscar Party. Starts around 5pm for all the pre-show dress nonsense. Formal attire, prizes awarded to whoever guesses the most winners in the major catagories, a Jack Valenti drinking game...

And save your self-righteous true-art tirades. We know it dosen't mean anything (except that Harvey Weinstein knows how to grease palms). It's just fun to watch. So there.

Amendments/Announcements

Okay kiddies, time to get out the 'ol red marker and update those new daytimers of yours':

1) Due to the fact that the person who originally requested Party Monster night can't make it on the night originally proposed (I'm talking to you Bob), that event has been moved to Sunday Feb 15 starting at 7pm-ish and running 'til about 9:30/10pm. Please let me know if you can make it (again, I'm talking to you Bob) or if we'll need to reschedule yet again.

2) For those of you not going to see Bubba Ho Tep on Friday Feb 13, the Beejster, I and a couple others will be trundling down to the Tinseltown to catch it Sat night (the 14th) and then zippin' over to the Brickyard to catch The Evaporators (they were on the cover of last week's Georgia Straight, well, Nardward was anyway). It's sure to be a nice antidote to your usual Valentine's Day, so if you've had your fill of Candy & Flowers come join us for some good old fashioned nonsensical punk.

3) Official Mariko/Owen B-day plans (I've included Owen by default since his B-day is the day after mine. He may have his own plans, I don't know you'll have to ask him):
Sat Feb 21-- 8pm: Pre-Drink Party at the D.o.S. -- BYOB, donations of shooters for the birthday boy & girl greatly appreciated.
10pm-ish: Karaoke at the Duff. Again, donations of B-day shooters greatly appreciated.

I think that's it for now. Email or call me to RSVP.

Thursday, February 05, 2004

In which I announce a get-together...

My buddies Jim, Aaron and Sean make something of a hobby of throwing big theme parties at a rented hall near Metrotown. They're a blast, so I'm putting out the invite for their pre-Valentine's gig on Saturday the 7th. It's gonna be a big crowd, lots of fun folks, DJ, etc. I think they're doing the place up in an Arabian theme, complete with belly dancer (my friend Mara). I'm going, and anybody who wants to have a great time or just to see me embarrass myself in some unforeseen way should get in.


Coz' it's a rented place, you gotta buy a ticket for 10 bucks, but it's worth it, and they have a bar with $2 drinks. It's cheap, it's fun as hell. Let me know if you're intererested...

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

My Neighbours Had To Increase the Volume Because My Teeth Were Grinding So Hard

Dear Shirley Bond,

This evening, on Global's story about the protests downtown, you stated that students need to remember that 70-80% of their education is funded by the government.

And I think you need to remember who the government is supposed to be: The people of British Columbia.

By raising tuition fees and increasing the cost of post-secondary education you put education out of reach for most British Columbians.

There is no question that a post secondary education opens greater doors to the future. By making education available to only those whose parents can afford to send them there the divide between the haves and have nots is increased significantly. The implications of limiting the liberty of your citizens through making gains inaccessible is staggering.

I would like to attend law school, but I won't be able to in this lifetime as my studies will cease with this fall's latest planned increase. With a student loan debt of $20,000 I will return to the lower paying jobs available and attempt to pay off my loan in time.

Thank you for reminding me that my 80% of my tax dollars are supporting your children through school,

Corinne

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

From Eva's Blog

Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results
Sociability ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Gregariousness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Assertiveness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Activity Level |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Excitement-Seeking |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Enthusiasm |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Extroversion |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Trust |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Morality ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Altruism |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
Cooperation ||||||||||||||| 46%
Modesty |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Sympathy |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Friendliness ||||||||||||||||||||| 65%
Competence ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Neatness ||||||||||||||| 42%
Dutifulness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Achievement ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Self-Discipline ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Orderliness |||||||||||||||||| 60%
Anxiety ||||||||||||||| 46%
Anger ||||||||| 30%
Depression ||||||||| 22%
Self-Consciousness ||||||||||||||| 50%
Impulsiveness ||||||||| 22%
Vulnerability |||||||||||| 34%
Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Imagination |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Artistic Interests |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Emotionality |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Intellect |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Liberalism |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 72%
Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test

Why they didn't Bold the "Intellect" at 90%... I don't know. Many things had higher percentage than the ones they liked to emphasis.

Monday, February 02, 2004

A weekend of lost dignity...

Anybody who wants to see more of Drunken Red-faced Paul is invited to my place in Victoria, the weekend of March 5th-7th. There will be much foolish merriment and general havoc-wreaking. I'm eager to see how much damage we can inflict on this small town. Why so early do I post, you ask? 'Tis my next free weekend, and I gotta secure it against the slavers at the Legislature. I have couch and floor space enough for 6 people or so, more if they're super friendly. More details to come...

Happy Birthday to Me

Ahem.

So long and thanks for all the rum!

Thanks to all who made the Januween celebration such a blast! Although we forgot to countdown the new month and I forgot to destroy Gareth at twister (he must have balked after my yoga demonstration), it looks like a great time was had by all. Despite rum punch and rum balls, my coordination was strong enough to win a few rounds of darts and I finally got to appreciate the bay view window as it was intended to be...an atrium amid the stars...

But enough of that, who got caught on camera? Find out here.

Commentary provided by the photographer(s). I had no idea anybody appreciated my gluts so much...

Duke

Tech Support: Corinne Speaking

"How do I get it to show up?"
"What?"
"The thing."
"Uh..."
"I can't get the thing up"

**walk over. turn on the power. walk away**

Scariest family nomination

Moooooo.