I am alive.

And despite possible rumours that I was shipped to the hospital last night, they were just plans that I managed to protest at the 11th hour. The clincher was apparently when Gareth said that the hospital will "only" pump my stomach and give me an IV. An IV. I remembered that Duke's car was really warm and that made me feel better. I remember a few things from last night, and for those that heard me state I was scared, it was for a couple reasons. The second one was that I have never felt so close to death before. That was just brutal feeling. I really just wanted to vomit laying on my back to get rid of the feeling and be done with it (I was drunk, this is my mentality while drunk). The first one was situational outside of the alcohol that I shouldn't have mentioned at all because it was obviously just paranoia.

Let's see. Thanks to Kev for hosting the shindig, despite my appearences by the end of the night I had fun. Thanks to Mike for remaining sober and helping with the carrying duties which he shared with... And thanks to Gareth, the goading guy he is, for packing my incapacitated ass around and keeping an eye out on me with Grae. Although Grae was quite incapacitated as well. He told me that when Rachael (who found me in the bathroom) went to get him for help with me he just stared blankly at her. He said she gave him a look to the effect of "what a useless child." We made quite the pair.

This is going to be gross, so it's a mouse-highlighting section: I woke up at 8am this morning and realized I had vomit in my hair that made it crusty at the ends. That was the down side. The upside was that it was only beer and maybe a little stomach acid. And beer is good for your hair.

The first thing I had in my stomach since last night was 7up which I burped for about 30 seconds straight gasping for air inbetween trying to tell Grae that the 7up was a bad idea. I looked like I was going to be sick again. But I've put a couple things in my stomach and it's all better.

So I've taken a vow of cutting back my drinking for a while. I may switch to something else for a while, but I can't keep destroying myself with alcohol much more. I used to be an annual kind of blitz-drinker, and I've hit three so far this year. And June just started. With one more party that is scheduled, I think I'll play sober hostess for the rest of the year. Start rebuilding my brain cells.