THE HARDEST I'VE LAUGHED IN YEARS

Neil Hamburger and Pleaseeasaur
Saturday, October 2nd 2004

The Brickyard

So I arrived at the Brickyard around 9:00pm only to find the place was deserted with only one middle-aged couple eating dinner there (who would eat at the BY???). Blarney Stone lineup was at approximately 2.5 blocks long. Within about half an hour, BJ, Mariko, Nick and Damon arrived and tickets went on sale at approximately 9:45pm.

After a few pitchers of Rickards and a good dose of "Most extreme elimination challenge" (MXC/Takashi's Castle), the lights and music fired up for Pleaseeasaur! The stage was set up as two screens with a silver curtain in between and the Pleaseeasaur had assistants backstage projecting images and textbook illustrations on the screens to accompany his songs.

The first observation I'll make is that his costumes were amazing, everything from a 50's space suit to bad 80's workout clothes to a yeti to a granny carrying a baby on her back. The subject matter of his songs included a limousine service (no prob-limo), Sandy Duncan on good hygiene, strangers have the best candy (stay away from that white van badly in need of a paint job, children), a motivational fitness song. pizza brothers and sons (he had two chefs attached to his apron from the back), a corrupt law firm and meat island parts 1 and 2. Songs were brilliantly accompanied by overhead visuals that were animated by his assistant(s) and cardboard props would pop up from behind stage. The set concluded with grandma and baby exiting the stage through the jaws of a giant cardboard lion (meat island p2).

In between sets a guy in semi-ballet drag was dancing to George Michael. Alan Cumming bought him a shot. OH YEAH! Alan Cumming (X2, The Anniversary Party) was wandering around the bar with a shirt that said "Fuck Yoga".

Neil Hamburger took the stage in anticipated fashion, dressed like a burned out lounge comedian who just escaped from a 1950's time capsule with a glass of water under his arm. His routine, of course, is more of a laugh riot about his character, not so much the jokes he tells (although some were pretty amusing). His deadpan delivery, often preceded by a minute-long session of clearing his throat, was followed by his nervous groan and a comment on the most unruly members of the audience (his fans heckle him on purpose, they love his belligerent reactions). Neil attacked everyone from Courtney Love to Madonna to God; it was more the anticipation than the actual delivery that had people roaring.

"What's the difference between Courtney Love and the American flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag."

The joke that I thought was going to put BJ in the hospital went something like this:

"Why will Courtney Love not be enjoying gravy with her turkey this thanksgiving seas-*MIC DIES*-this thank-*MIC DIES*-assholes...this thanksgiving season? You know, with the cranberry sauce and the stuffing and those little brussel sprouts, often followed by a course of dessert with the pumpkin pie and ice cream. The whole family gets together for the occasion and it's often at the grandparent's place. Anyway, the reason is that she'll be dead...from all the heroin." (It took 2 minutes to deliver)

Another long-winded delivery:

"Why did Ronald McDonald take a semi-automatic, put four bullets into his wife's chest and three into her head, then he went into his son's bedroom and threw him out a plate glass window down 3 stories, in their Illinois mansion, then he goes over to the daughter's bedroom and tosses her out the window down two stories into the swimming pool at which point he takes an uzi and riddles her body with bullets while she?s struggling to stay afloat. Then he takes a pistol and fires a shot into his head, but it doesn't kill him, it just grazes his scalp, see, so he lives through the whole ordeal. Now, *MIC DIES*...the thing...*MIC DIES*...why did all this...why would he do all of these things? Because he found KFC grease spots in his wife's underwear."

A two joke encore preceded a promised appearance by Robert Palmer and Jan 'n Dean. After screaming for Robert Palmer, we got to boogie to George Michael while people filed out at around 1:00am.

It was awesome; I'd expect to see crazy stuff like this in Seattle or San Fran, but Vancouver? We were privileged as Pleaseeasaur told me that when he toured with Giant Robot (Buckethead), they never went north of Seattle. We want P to do BJ + Mariko's wedding, I also suggested Neil as the MC.

Too surreal.

-Duke