Friday, March 09, 2007

BAD F*****' DUDES RIDING PUBLIC TRANSIT!!

SUNDAY MAR. 11th

7pm

THE TAKING OF PELHAM 1 2 3



A group of armed men take a subway train full of people hostage and declare that they'll kill a hostage a minute if their demands aren't met. The transit cop there to deal with the hostages and the beauratic red tape is Walter Mathau, who we love simply for being being Walter Mathau, and it's always grand to be loved for just simply who you are. Leading the hostage takers is Robert FUCKING Shaw. Now there are not many actors you can refer to and and honestly throw a 'fucking' in their name without cheapening it, the icon status has to be tough as nails. Even James Cagney, one of the toughest, meanest little bastard of the gangster golden age, made queer little movies like Yankee Doodle Dandy (writer's confession: have never seen Yanke Doodle Dandy, but it's a musical, musicals are for sissies, like Ewan McGregor, a sissy with a big schlong). John Wayne was too much of the protector. No it's rare actor that qualifies to have their name interrupted by a cuss (common though cussing is now, but hell it's been constant throughout my living history, so...), they have to be tough as nails and capable of doing anything. Any one of these actors could play a phenomenal Punisher, and I'll tell you it ain't Thomas Fuckin' Jane. To tell the truth I don't think there's a living working actor right now who'd deserve it. I got a short list of all time here:

LEE FUCKING MARVIN
CHARLES FUCKING BRONSON
HENRY FUCKING SILVA.

And Robert FUCKING Shaw. I haven't seen that many Shaw films, hell only two. He was the heavy/mark in The Sting and he was motherfucking QUINT in JAWS. If he only made one movie and it was Jaws, he'd still be Robert FUCKING Shaw, maybe with a purer 'fuck'. And Mathau, he doesn't need a cuss in his name, his very presence gives you, at least, the slight inclination to rent Hanging Up, even though you know you'll hate it.

9pm

Bullet Train



It's Speed, but on a subway! Some nefarious no-gooder has planted a bomb on a high-speed train which will explode if it goes below 80km/h. And SONNY FUCKING CHIBA is in it.

1 comment:

Jeff said...

Hoo-Ya! That was inspired.

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