alcoholism is your friend.

it's a whole new ballgame.

for this weekend's festivities, I have taken the liberty of acquiring beer. lots of beer. about US$50 worth of beer. and there are stakes.

owen has proclaimed that we will all fall before the might of his olde english high gravity. that may well be. but I propose a challenge. I need a champion, a warrior worthy of owen. a combatant with the intestinal fortitude to handle two forties of CAMO 40 SILVER ICE HIGH GRAVITY LAGER. this shit is XXXXX strength, 9.0% alcohol by volume. it's the strongest malt liquor I could find, easily blowing owen's pussy old E away by a full percentage point.

whomever accepts my challenge of championing the camo 40 will receive a bonus sidearm. a small bottle of skull splitter orkney ale. it's only a 330mL bottle, but it's 8.5% alcohol. this is some seriously strong shit, folks. I've had it before. it's awesome. it comes in a kickass bottle too, so it has some trade value with owen to be sure.

additionally, there is a special bob-only stipulation. I'm buying the booze, I can make silly rules. if bob accepts my challenge (and folks, he gets first crack), he will hold a special esteem. for if he manages to defeat owen in this battle royale, he will officially relinquish his title of "bitch" for an indeterminate amount of time, guaranteed to be at least the remainder of the weekend. well, at least _I_ won't treat him like the bitch, and I encourage all others to focus entirely on paul as well (okay, and maybe a little at me).

and as if all of this wasn't perfect enough, there is a grand prize to be awarded to the champion of edward fortyhands: toga edition. I have acquired a very rare bottle of dogfish head 120 minute IPA. this is some serious shit, and cost over US$10 a bottle. definitely a suitable prize for such a noble pursuit...

additionally, some arrangements have been made for the lightweights of the group (I'm thinking miyuki, corinne, mariko, etc, NOT paul), because I don't want to be taking care of a shitfaced miyuki again. I have acquired two armaments of 22oz bottles. miyuki gets the saku pilsners, and I have two 22s of fate tire ale as well. fat tire is some seriously good shit, btw.

so, here's the breakdown thus far:

competitive round:
olde english high gravity - owen
mickey's fine malt liquor - christian
camo 40 silver ice - ???
colt 45 - ???

girly round:
saku pilsner - miyuki
fat tire - ???
pussy caesars - paul

now, I just need to figure out how to smuggle all of this hooch over the border... and dammit folks, people better drink all this beer...